How to make People Like You : Benjamin Franklin

HELLO EVERYONE, HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU INSTANTLY?
It sounds too good to be true, right? In a way, it is. But there are many psychological tricks that are used in sales and similar fields that can influence how someone thinks about you. THE ONE DISCUSSED IN THIS BLOG IS CALLED THE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN EFFECT, and it is quite interesting.

THE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN EFFECT MEANS THAT IF YOU ASK SOMEONE TO DO YOU A SMALL FAVOR AND THEY AGREE, THEY WILL LIKE YOU MORE AFTER DOING THAT FAVOR THAN THEY DID BEFORE. Benjamin Franklin first talked about this idea in his autobiography. He shared a story about a political rival he did not get along with. Franklin wanted this person to think better of him, so he asked if he could borrow a book. The rival agreed. After Franklin finished reading it, he returned the book and told him that he enjoyed it. After this, the rival treated Franklin much better, and they even became friends.

Franklin explained this by saying that A PERSON WHO HAS DONE YOU A FAVOR ONCE IS MORE LIKELY TO DO ANOTHER FAVOR FOR YOU THAN SOMEONE YOU HAVE HELPED.

BUT WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? WHY WOULD SOMEONE LIKE YOU MORE AFTER DOING YOU A FAVOR? There are a few explanations for this.

THE FIRST EXPLANATION IS COGNITIVE DISSONANCE. This happens when people feel uncomfortable holding two opposite beliefs at the same time. In this case, one belief is that you feel neutral or negative about a person. The second belief is that you usually do favors only for people you like. So, if you do a favor for someone you do not like much, your mind feels uncomfortable. To fix this discomfort, it is easier to change how you feel about the person. So, you start thinking more positively about them.

THE SECOND EXPLANATION IS CALLED SELF-PERCEPTION THEORY. This idea is slightly different. It focuses on how we understand ourselves based on our actions. If I do something nice for someone I do not really know, I try to explain my behavior to myself. I may think that I helped them because I liked them. This helps my actions make sense in my own story.

OUR LIVES ARE LIKE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES. It would not make sense in that story if we kept helping people we disliked. FOR OUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS TO STAY CONSISTENT, OUR MIND TRIES TO KEEP THINGS LOGICAL.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN EFFECT DOES NOT WORK ALL THE TIME. Many studies support this idea, but it mostly works when feelings are not very strong. If I strongly dislike someone and they ask to borrow my pen, that will not change my feelings. In fact, I might not even give them my pen.

SO WHERE DO WE SEE THIS EFFECT? It is often seen in sales situations. For example, imagine you are shopping for fancy shoes. A salesperson walks by carrying several shoe boxes and asks you to hold the door open for her. After thanking you, she asks what kind of shoes you are looking for. In this situation, you may feel slightly more open to listening to her. THIS MAY NOT HAPPEN EVERY TIME, BUT IN MANY CASES, IT WORKS DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION.

THE SAME THING CAN HAPPEN IN A CLASSROOM. If someone you do not know asks to borrow your pen and you give it to them, you might start a conversation after that. Even this small favor can make you think a little better about that person because WE BELIEVE WE ONLY HELP PEOPLE WE LIKE.

SO, THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT SOMEONE TO LIKE YOU A LITTLE MORE, YOU COULD ASK FOR A SMALL FAVOR, like borrowing a pen or asking them to hold a door open. THESE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRICKS MAY NOT ALWAYS WORK, BUT THE BASIC WAY OUR MIND WORKS IS STILL THE SAME.

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